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Writer's pictureKiKi's Critique

I Can Feel Myself Changing

It's almost hard to believe how fast time flies. The older I get, and the more seasons I'm blessed to be a part of, the more opportunities to grow and transform I realize I have been given. Lately, I've been feeling the changes internally and externally as we are approaching the fall season. My 4-year-old is in school which is absolutely amazing, it just seems like yesterday that I brought him home from the hospital. Pretty soon he will be graduating high school and God willing I will be here to see it. Change is the one thing that is constant yet still hard to get used to. I understand that change is necessary in order to grow and become the best me that I can be. but somehow when that change comes...I still find myself reluctantly accepting there is nothing I can do. Change is that thing that we often pray for, look for, try and create opportunities for, and somehow if it doesn't come dressed up the way we envisioned, we have a hard time recognizing the blessings we sowed the seed for, begged for, and waited for. lately, I have decided to surrender totally to the "flow" that change carries us through to get from where we started to where we land. That flow of releasing my worries when change comes in the form of a "friend" leaving my life, or a child moving away. I surrender in the flow of change that comes in the form of death and even despair because I know that change MUST come, and how I handle it determines the outcome. I now understand that change is that part of life that is the ONLY thing that is constant. Change must come in order for me to grow, to evolve, to become my highest best self.

I can feel myself changing into a more compliant woman, trusting in God and embracing All the changes around me. I no longer want to resist and fight what is happening out of my control, instead, I want to release the anxiety, fear, and panic knowing that if this comes before me, then I am built to handle it. We have to be merciful with transitions as not only do circumstances change but so do the people around us. If we are working through our own issues with change then can you imagine the struggles of another? One of the changes I can feel is the increased need for patience. I'm tired of feeling the need to rush through my day, or to get to a certain level in life. I'm more determined to embrace the moment and enjoy the journey. To savor every flavor, every morsel life has to give me. including the bad; because I have come to know that All things work out for my good whether it feels good at the time or not.

I can feel myself changing, just like the seasons' old things are passing away, so I can become the BEST me I can be.


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